Valadictborian

Ok,
So I am graduating Saturday, yes, Saturday!
So in light of this momentous event I am posting my final speech from my speech analysis class.

The Prompt was: What is the most important thing you have learned in college?

So, for your viewing pleasure;

The importance of College

The most important thing I’ve learned in College is something, I hope, all of us have figured out.
College is not entirely about formulas, theories, or even classes.
I have learned that colleges is really a tool. A tool that is given to us with the intention of finding
ourselves.
In this scholastic establishment our views and opinions are challenged, and the morals of our youth become either clearly defined or fade into new ones.
Among the many voices of our fellow classmates and teachers we are pushed to focus in on the distinct tone of our own, new, educated, self-aware, and confident voice.

The most important thing that I have learned in college is that I am me.

I have a voice.

It is mine, and mine alone.

There it is, hope you liked it.

Light blazed out of the darkness

Yesterday morning at staff celebration we were all sitting around sharing and listening to stories of the awesome things that God did at our church this weekend.

Apparently, the folks at our Hollandale Beach location experienced a power outage.
In the middle of the Pastor's teaching the entire worship room just went dark.
They were all laughing and congratulating one another on how everyone handled the situation and thanked God they had a live teaching and not the video teaching we normally have.

What was cool to me, is that the Pastor kept teaching in the dark.

There is this horrible joke by Dane Cook where he makes fun of couples fighting. (yes I am referencing a Dane Cook joke) He asks "Why do women whisper?"..."To make you listen".
In the context of the joke its Hilarious, but this quote has always stuck with me, and I think it applies to the Hallandale situation.

Why did the power go out? Was it the enemy?

Or was it God trying to make some one listen?

In John Chapter one its says that God is light and the light is in the darkness, which is everything that is not of God. John says that the light is in the darkness, but the darkness does not overcome the light.
In a big city with lots of lights, you can't see the light of the stars, you have to drive out to the country, where there is nothing so you can see the beautiful light the stars create.
Here in Pensacola there is this place on the beach that I like to go away from the hustle and bustle of cannon Beach, its called 18, and you can see the milky way and a boat load of stars at night.

Our lives are like this sometimes, especially around this time of year.
We get so caught up in life that we miss God's light. Our lives are so lit up with everything that is going on that sometimes God just drops us into complete darkness simply to reveal his beautiful light.

Maybe that's what happened there in Hallandale.
Maybe one person in that auditorium needed to receive a message from God in the dark.

Our God will do some pretty crazy things to get our attention, like flooding the earth, or feeding 5,000 strangers, but sometimes he just turns out the lights.

P.s. Check out our church! www.potentialchurch.com

My spirituality is more like my vitality
Because my God provides for me completely.

He talks to me.
He leads me.
He teaches me.

He brings me out into the dessert to call to me
gently.

And tell me
I AM HIS.

That I was created to live
The life that he knit in my mothers womb.

That I am the one whom
He has chosen

I am the one that he chose to breath life in
that he will love until the End.

My father whispered "come follow me."
I hear it in my sleep
in my dreams

Now when I open my eyes I see
the amazing abundance of my Fathers grace and mercy

How the river of his love flows
and I will not stop until every nation and every tribe know
that The One who created humanity
Has for us
a purpose
a life
a desire
a gift
a dream
a salvation
a rescue
and a knowledge
That he came to be our savior eternally.

Simple Truth

Isaiah 43:1-3
But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob
And who formed you, O Israel;
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name;
YOU ARE MINE.
When you pass through the waters,
I WILL BE WITH YOU;
And Through the rivers,
THEY SHALL NOT OVER FLOW YOU.
When you walk through the fire,
YOU SHALL NOT BE BURNED, NOR SHALL THE FLAME SCORCH YOU.


For I AM the Lord your GOD, The HOLY ONE of Israel, YOUR SAVIOR.

I read this verse this morning and it struck me as one of the most beautiful things I have ever read.

I sat there in utter silence and marveled at the fact that the God of the old testament, the God who could flood the earth, strike down anyone anywhere, the God of Revelation, the God who defeats Satan, The King of the Universe, the one Most high, the God of Jacob, The God of Issac, of Abraham and Israel.

He is also, the God of Ashley.

Such a simple phrase, such a seemingly elementary concept.
However this thought has captured my attention all day.
My God, My savior, will protect me.
The same God who flooded the entire earth CHOOSES to lift me out of deep water, because I am His.
Amazing.
The God whose words are a double edged sword so sharp they can cut through bone and marrow, calls my name gently to his purpose.
Beautiful.

Better put it in quotations

Lately I have been thinking of what people have been saying about my generation, about the 20 somethings. Let me tell you friends, the opinion of society on our age group, is not a good one. They say we are confused, lost, a generation of lazy wannabe rockstars and artists with no voice.

Nothing infuriates me more than lack of expectation in something great.
I believe our generation has the potential to be great.
I believe we have a voice.

We are the generation with the most information at our finger tips and 545486751546542 ways to get our voice out there, so what are we saying? What movement are we creating.

In my little corner of the internet, in my spaceless void of HTML I am using my voice, and proclaiming what I believe boldly. That is what I am saying, and if we are a genration that needs to say something within our social networks, blogs, and wikis, then let the name of King Jesus be there in bold print.

After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.
Acts 4:31

We, as the underapriciated 20 somethings need to put our lovely artistic voice to good use no matter what the critics say.

"Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as your eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open"

Don't do life alone... well, why?

At Potential Church we always say "Don't do life alone".

Why is this such an important element to our church? Why is it important for me to have other people involved with my walk? Why is the aspect of community so important?

I was looking for answers to these questions while working on some stuff for a series at Potential Church's College Ministry, Elevate.
I found that community started at the beginning of our lives. The number one purpose for community began as soon as we were born.

The Bible says that we were all born with a gift.
1 Corinthians 12 says; 7 Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8 To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,and to still another the interpretation of tongues. 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.

We were all born with a gift to use for the Kingdom and according to Ephesians 4 God created all of us to "Prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up."
Other versions say; "to equip the Saints for the work of the ministry."
We we given gifts to further Christs ministry. The final command to us while he was on this earth was to go forth into the nations ans teach and baptise.
Ministry is not something that can be done alone. And those who think otherwise will soon see the error in that thought.
What happens to a church if you have only a person whose gift is teaching? Who would listen?
What happens to a church if you have only a person whose gift is hospitality? Who would teach?
Christ has designated leaders among us, but who would they lead if they didn't have community?
We all come together to form the body of Christ. The beautiful body of Christ.
This is the first reason we have community; to further the ministry, to make the body function the way it should.

Later in Ephesians 4, Paul talks about what we can do for each other.

He says; to mature manhood,to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ,
14so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. 15Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

This says that we help each other grow. We can challenge each other, be accountable to one another. We can actually assist in the life change of our friends. Through community we are given the blessing of being a tool used by Christ with our gift to reach one another.

We can protect each other in Community by truth telling and prayer. A friend is not someone who just has your back and will support you no matter what. A true friend is one that will tell you when you are walking into a brick wall.

Finally, we can love each other. In a Community of believers we should love, honor, encourage, and respect each other.

The second reason for Community is to have healthy and worthwhile relationships that are not of this world.

"Blank" is in my future

Eleanor Roosevelt once said; “ The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” She was a smart lady. If you think about it, the future is not at all concrete. We have no idea what it will be like, look like, or feel like. The future is not like the past either. The past is made up of facts. We know what happened, how it happened and what it felt like to be there. The future is not like the present, the present is a state of awareness. We know where we are, what is going on around us and how we feel about current situations. The present is also this crazy magical time where we can make things happen. The present, right now, is when we can dream of the future. The present is the time where we can take steps, make choices and most important, dream dreams that can form our future. I have dreamed a few dreams of my own for my future. I dream of a family. My children, curly haired and rosy cheeked laughing and playing in our back yard at dusk. My husband and I dancing in the kitchen to oldies while making breakfast on a sunny Saturday morning. Serving my God and his bride the church wherever he leads me, and seeing great life change in people as I do so. I dream of traveling to the four corners of the world. Seeing cliffs and oceans, jungles and great metropolises. I dream that I will forever be surrounded by great art, amazing music, good people, and tasty food everywhere I go. I dream of beach picnics and Christmas with my family.
Now, I have no idea if any of this will actually happen in my future, but I am hoping that Mrs. Roosevelt is right. All I know is that I can dream now, in the present for the things I desire in the future. However, one day, the present will suddenly become the future and I am sure that I will dream then Just as much as I do now. Dreaming has been a part of my past, present and will certainly be in my future.

Open Mouth Insert Foot?

I was asked recently to write a teaching on trust. I wrote a teaching based out of Matthew Chapter 8. In this chapter around verse 13 or so, Jesus meets a Roman Centurion.
Here, I am going to pause for a moment to let you in on what a Roman Centurion is. A Centurion is a captain in the Roman army. They were pretty Legit. Think Gladiator, but for real. Yeah, they were some bad Mofo's.
Ok so, this big Gladiator Centurion goes up to Jesus and explains that his servant is sick, on the edge of death. He asks Jesus to please heal him before it's to late. Jesus then tells the captain that he will come to his house to heal the servant.
However, and this is where things get crazy but awesome, The Roman captain, gladiator, centurion guy who is probably 3 times the size of Jesus and probably like a super macho manly man says to Jesus that there is no need for him to come to the house. He believed that Jesus could heal his servant right there in the middle of the street who knows how far away from the servant they were.
Jesus right then turned to the crowed and said that he had yet to see the same "simple trust" among the people like this guy had. The Bible says that Jesus was taken aback.
That's what gets me. Jesus was taken aback. Like, who does that to the king of the freaking universe... But you know, I don't think it was just merely because of the this guy and the fact that he had something Jesus didn't know about, I think Jesus was relieved. He was taken aback because finally, someone got it.
To us, Trust isn't so simple. As I was reading this preparing to write this teaching I hooked into the the phrase "simple trust" because to me that sounds crazy. I literally felt like Jesus was telling me the equivalent of "Ashley you have aliens living in your toilet"
Crazy right?
But seriously, simple trust is a foreign concept now-a-days. I mean, think about how often you have a conversation with a friend, or spouse, or relative where you discuss earning, gaining, or losing trust. Those are pretty loaded words;

earn, gain, and loss.

Loss being the word that holds the most weight. Most, if not all, of us have a story from our lives where someone has lost our trust or we lost threes. We have all been in a situation where we have reached out to someone and they just dropped the ball, and that can hurt really bad and leave a scar in our memory. I called this in the teaching a "Human Mentality of Trust". So many times we have had someone betray or break our trust, so that now trust is sort of jaded. It comes with a price. We've been hurt before, so what makes this time any different?
So, with this mentality in mind, if someone came up to you that you didn't really know and told you just to simply trust them with your life, you'd look at them like they're talking at the speed of crazy. right?
But what we have to realize is that God isn't like us. We aren't perfect, he is.
If someone wrote out in a book your life, how many would actually what to read it? I mean, every things in there, every success, failure, lie, truth, cheat, scandal, broken promise. Everything. I would take mine off of the shelf and bury it. lol
It would hold our track record. The wrongs we have done.
So (super cheesy moment) The Bible is God's track record, but see his doesn't have broken promises, it only has examples and proof that he came true on his word.There are countless examples; David, Hagar, the Roman Centurion, and like a billion more.
So with a clean track record like that, Trust is simple.

Yeah, that was my teaching. To trust God, it's simple.

Then a few weeks later I find myself freaking out about my future and where I am going to be in 6 months. I thought to myself "wow Ash way to not do anything you preached about."
My faith and trust was just not up to Parr.
I had a friend tell me once that if I didn't have faith and trust in my God enough to believe that he could raise someone from the dead, then my faith and trust was too small. I think about that every time I freak out. I have a savior who raised my brothers from the dead, and delivered them from there enemies, a savior who protected my sisters and there families.
So why shouldn't I trust in him?
It should be simple, we are the ones who make it hard.
Practice what you preach.

Is this seat taken?

"If I could just sit with You a while, if You could just hold me
Nothing could touch me though I'm wounded, though I die
If I could just sit with You a while, I need You to hold me
Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by"

So, lately I've been self evaluating.
What am I doing? What am I good at? What difference am I creating?
I want to be a heavy hitter, I want to be a tool used in life change for the kingdom, I want to wave my banner high that I am a co-heir with Christ.
While all of this is great... I believe there is a slight hint of vanity behind this...

What have I learned in the past couple of months? Live to only love/impress/honor/serve/cling too/sit with/prioritize time for/belong to/ the one and only king of the Universe and he will make you what you are meant to be, and the warrior of the Kingdom that we all have inside of us.

Sometimes all we can do is sit and listen.

"When I know I’ve sinned when I should have been
CRYING OUT 'MY GOD'
Lord I need you now, more than I know how
So I humbly bow, hidden in you"

Be STILL and KNOW that I AM GOD.


"If I could Just sit with you awhile,
I need you to hold me
moment by moment
until forever passes by"

Something Beautiful

"In your ocean I'm ankle deep, I feel the waves crashing on my feet.
I think I know where I need to be, but I can't figure out, no I can't figure out
Just how much air I will need to breathe, When your wave crashes over me.
There's only one way to figure out..."

Today is my last official day in Pensacola until August. I haven't even spent a full year here, just a school year, so why is it I feel so strongly connected to this place?
I find that Pensacola has an essence, a spirit that I love and have loved experiencing through out my time here. But it's not just that.
I feel like God really wanted me to be here.Through a bunch of really weird situations I ended up in a town where I knew two people and now I am leaving with a ton of amazing memories and experiences and basically a second family.

God has blessed me so much through my time here this school year. I have never learned so much about serving, living, laughing, and loving in my whole life.
I've learned that you can't do life alone, you have to have people who encourage you, love you, tell you when you're being stupid, teach you, honor you, challenge you, and that is exactly what I found here in Pensacola with all the amazing people I have met through Flamingo.

Moving back home is scary. I am afraid I will miss out on what happens here, afraid that things will be different when i come back, afraid that I won't have in Pc what I have here. However, I believe that God will grow me even more over the summer if I am open to it.

"And the water is rising quick, and for years I was scared of it.
We can't be sure when it will subside,
So I won't leave your side,
No, I can't leave your side"

I will never forget some of the memories I have experienced here.
I HAVE EXPERIENCED
heart break
Love
Life change
laughter until it hurt
unexpected tears
unexpected friendship
growth
knowledge
ghost hunting
bungee jumping
teaching
raising my Ebenezer

I HAVE SEEN
Life change
Salvation spring up from the ground
understanding
love
honor
trust
hurt
no ghosts lol
(Yeah, I just wrote "lol" in a blog, so what?)

All in all, a pretty amazing and eventful school year that I truly will never forget.
I love all of you who have impacted my life thus far, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for the future.

"Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire. I just want
something beautiful to touch me.
I know that I'm in reach, because I am down on my knees,
waiting for something beautiful"
-Something Beautiful, Need to Breathe

When I grow up...

You know, when you are little and your parents ask you what you want to be when you grow up?
Your answer is always something like an Astronaut, or a Doctor, or a Princess, or a Country Music Star ( yeah, that was mine ;))

But most of the time something happens to these dreams as we grow up. They are modified to fit our current lives, or they change completely. I can honestly say that I no longer desire to be a country music star, and if anyone reading this has ever heard me sing they can understand why.
Honestly, my goals and aspirations in life have become, to women of the world today, quite simple. However, achieving what I want in life to me, is an uphill climb everyday.

Here are my three goals/ambitions/dreams for my life. Ready?

1. To be a Godly woman.
Insert proverbs 31 here, right?
But it's true. More than anything else I want to serve my king. I desire to learn how to have Kindness and wisdom come from my lips. I want to be a woman who looks at the days to come and laughs because she knows her father will and has always provided for her. I desire to be clothed in strength and dignity. In 2010 I believe a true Proverbs 31 woman is kind of hard to find, but they are there if you look.
So, how to become this? Well, these are qualities I strive for through prayer, and through seeking the wisdom of women who have gone before me and have these qualities.
The thing I love most about the woman described in proverbs 31 is the very last verse. It reads "Give of her the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates"
Earlier in the chapter the reference to the woman's hand and arms are everywhere. She has "willing hands", "Open hands", and 'strong arms". The chapter explains that she works with her hands and produces fruit, and provides with them and the final verse says to give her those fruits. So, being a Godly woman will be one of the most rewarding things you can be when you grow up in my opinion. :)

2. To be a good wife.
Feminists everywhere want to punch me in the face. This is a dream that has stuck with me since I was a little girl. I have always desired to be a wife one day. But what kind of wife? What do I want my marriage to be? The key to marriage in my mind is unity. Philippians 2:1-4 says
"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort in Love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus."

I want my marriage to be a ministry. I believe that is what it should be. I have two friends who recently got married because they said they could do more for the kingdom together then they could apart. I love that! I want to serve my king and his kingdom right alongside my husband.

3. To be a great mother.
I used to NEVER want kids, and I am still wondering if I will make a good mother. I have been told my kids will be very…interesting.As I have gotten older my mind has changed about whether I want children or not, and I do. I want to have my own and do a small part in helping those children who are abandoned by adopting. I just hope to be a wise mother for them like my mother has been to me.

So there it is.
I don’t really know what possessed me to blog about this.
Actually, I do. A few days ago a friend of mine asked me what were my dreams in life, and my answer was “too many to count”. This is partially true. There are many things and places I want to see, feel, experience, and know, but these three things are the “big deal whoa watch out this is what I want” dreams.
Anything else I get is just icing.

Faith Spoken word for Legacy

Now faith is the assurance of hope RECEIVED
and the conviction of those mysteries we have yet to SEE.

Without faith we are HOPELESS, RESTLESS, LOVELESS, and able to give LESS.

Because our minds are so caught up in the the why? The How? The WHEN?
We miss that the answer has already been GIVEN

By our Father who loves his children who SEEK
So through our faith in him we shall reach our PEAK of righteousness that can only be found through FAITH

So now there is no time to WASTE.
It is time that we rise for that purpose which we were MEANT.
To take up ranks and join this MOVEMENT.

Alongside a band of brothers and sisters who could see past this EARTH.
And with faith and desire in hand they proved their WORTH.

So now you see through HIS STORY this family of faith became part of a great HISTORY
They now speak from beyond the GRAVE because of the fearless steps they GAVE

Their tale is one that through time ENDURES
So now you need to ask yourself will YOURS?

These leaders were certain of the hope they would RECEIVE and convicted in their hearts for the secrets they had yet to SEE

And through faith left a LEGACY.

Faith. Got it?

Now faith is the assurance of hope RECEIVED
and the conviction of those mysteries we have yet to SEE.

Without faith we are HOPELESS, RESTLESS, LOVELESS, and able to give LESS.

Because our minds are so caught up in the why? How? The WHEN?
We miss that the answer has already been GIVEN

By our Father who loves his children who SEEK
So through our faith in him we shall reach our PEAK of righteousness that can only be found through Faith...

Been thinking about Hebrews 11 lately.
It is known as the hall of fame of those who have changed nations with their faith for the father.
It got me thinking, what have I done with my faith?
I haven't saved God's creatures from a flood, I haven't lead his people out of slavery,and I know that I haven't trusted God as much as I should.
Sometimes I feel that my faith is smaller than a mustard seed, but reading about those who came before me has inspired my faith.

And without Faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. - Hebrews 11:6

Hebrews 11 read it.

Ash

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord

Isaiah 40: 30-31

Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

We are told throughout the Bible to be patient and wait upon the Lord, but what exactly are we waiting for? I have been rolling this question around in my head for quite awhile. Am I like a kid on Christmas Eve waiting for my Santa/God to deliver everything I asked for this week in my prayers?

Or, am I simply to wait for the Lord to reveal his path to me.

As Christians we are called to seek our Father’s guidance in everything we do and every decision we make, however sometimes the timing of what we want to do and what God brings us is off, sometimes by quite a large margin of time. This can sometimes drive a believer to do some crazy things and believe what they think they should do is the righteous will of God and should be carried out immediately.

Look at Israel, when they decided to attack a nation that the Lord told them not to they suffered the consequences. We as Christians can actually blatantly disobey God’s will (which is a sin BTW) completely thinking we are walking in his will…until everything falls apart because we were selfish and impatient and didn’t wait upon the Lord.

Sometimes we even try to make deals with God so he will give us what we want in our time and not his.

Example; this is kind of random, but related.

In Judges we are told the really sad story of Jephthah. Jephthah made a vow to the Lord that he would sacrifice the first thing that came through his house if the Lord would deliver over to him the Ammonites. As the story goes Jephthah defeated the Ammonites and when he returned home after his victory, believing that it was the will of God, his daughter and only child meets him at the door.

Jephthah made a hasty and unwise decision because he did not wait for the Lord to reveal the right path to him.

Now this is an extreme example that most of us have never or will ever have to deal with, but we have all done something completely unwise that at the time didn’t really seem bad but was not the will of God. One of the hardest things to learn in our walks as Christians is the virtue of patients. We live in a society of instant gratification, however our God has been around for quite a long time and will be around for even longer than we can imagine. He works on his timeline, not ours.

Timing is everything.

So, you have been presented with a decision in your life and you want an answer now. I know this is a hard concept for most of us to grasp (even myself), but what If we just aren’t ready? What do we do while we wait? We grow. I believe we grow as we wait for the Lord. I look at it like this; there is a path to the path of God’s will. If I believe I want something but the Lord just is not letting me have it or presenting a path for me to walk on to get there, then I must not be able to handle it just quite yet. Someday the Lord will present me with what I have waited on, when he knows I am ready, not when I think I am. Also, while waiting we must seek the Lord and worship and grow in him and gain wisdom and this will grow us and prepare us to handle what the Lord has for us. Our strength really does rise as we wait.

Ask with the right intentions.

Sometimes what we want is selfish. Sometimes we wait on the Lord for something we are never going to get because it is not what we need at all.

James 4: 2-3 you desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and you do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.

Some translations of these verses say "you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures”

We have to ask ourselves, why do I want this promotion? Why do I want this relationship? Why do I want to move to this city? If the answer is anything less than to serve God and his people…then it’s a selfish one.

I think as Christians we get so scared that we are going to miss God’s will that we make up in our own heads what his will is for us and what we’re ready for because we are scared and really selfish creatures.

But our God has called us to be bold and step out in our faith and lean on him. This is the God who measured the waters of the earth in the hollow of his hand, He’s got you.